Being sick is never fun. It affects everything. Well this week I got sick. Due to the wild fires in BC when my throat started burning I of course credited the wildfires. But as the week progressed I have not felt better. It’s amazing what one little summer cold can due to your routine. I have not worked out to the same degree as usual and my workouts have not been as intense. It has made my body ache and I’m perpetually sleepy.
What has this week taught me. REST! This can be just as important as your work outs. By taking time off from my routine by sleeping more I have managed to keep this at a mere sniffle instead of a full blown cold. Plus as a bonus more sleep means better attitude better out look and better interactions with people and who doesn’t want that.
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
As women we have grown up around and been told through media that we must conform to certain standards. We must shave our legs if we want to wear a dress, our hair must be worn in the latest trend and that makeup is a must when leaving the house or getting together with people. We have bought into for decades.
This year has been transformational for me when I realized I didn’t need to conform to what the world wanted or expected of me. It allowed me to develop into the person I want to be. The girl who’s primary obsession is not her looks or keeping up with the latest trends and it’s taught me many things about myself.
Did you know that I am really good at sports? Me a girl who in her youth avoided any physical activity at all costs because I didn’t enjoy getting sweaty. I actually excel at sports and feel good when I compete. I have also found that I’m not the girly girl I used to believe I was. Yes I still enjoy a sappy romantic movie, the colour pink and getting dressed up, but I also enjoy wearing sweats no makeup and getting my hands dirty (even out in public!)
I had an aha moment this week as I was going about my routine, I personally have made it a goal for myself to not conform as much to society and as such have reduced the amount of makeup I wear to the point of even on occasion wearing zero makeup even when at work or when I’m going out. It has been a struggle to find my beauty in that as it left me and who I am completely exposed. This week however one day when I dared to go bare I found myself admiring my own reflection in the mirrors at work as I realized how pretty I was and that my natural skin although occasionally blemished was my own and on me it looked good.
I have never felt such a profound sense of pride in myself as I realized just how far I’ve come and just how much I’ve accomplished. Beauty is fleeting and the world will always push and pressure everyone, not just women, to look and act a certain way. But if your not happy with yourself is it really worth it? My lifestyle and journey is not for everyone but I am happy to declare that I am a child of God and in him and through him I am beautiful and for the first time I was able to see the beauty in myself that God has always seen in me.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
1 Peter 3:3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Life’s not always easy. Through triumphs and successes sometimes things just get you down. For me this was one of those weeks. My goal structure has been a huge help pushing me to achieve an over all sense of self. However the turmoil raging inside me could not be satisfied by merely reaching my goals.
I have struggled consistently through my life with hormones and emotions, and every once in a while it’s like this monster over takes my body and no matter how hard I strive, how active, prayerful or happy I try to be this monster still over takes me. It causes me anxiety, stress, lack of sleep, and a sense of melancholy. I’m not me during these times.
I question, am I the only one? Do I suffer in this state alone? I pray this is not the case. To those out there, that get the chance to read, this just know that you are not alone either. Life is hard even when things seem to being going great you can be knocked down. The key is how do you move on from it to improve things for the future. It’s what you learn and how you grow that shapes who you are and how you will end up living your life.
My prayer for the week:
Psalm 119 25 – 32
25 I am laid low in the dust;
preserve my life according to your word.
26 I gave an account of my ways and you answered me;
teach me your decrees.
27 Cause me to understand the way of your precepts,
that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds.
28 My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.
29 Keep me from deceitful ways;
be gracious to me and teach me your law.
30 I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
I have set my heart on your laws.
31 I hold fast to your statutes, Lord;
do not let me be put to shame.
32 I run in the path of your commands,
for you have broadened my understanding.